


I Want My Life Back

by Apple_cheesecake9



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Eren Yeager, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Armin Arlert is a Ray of Sunshine, Armin Arlert is a good friend, Badass Armin Arlert, Badass Eren Yeager, Badass Hange Zoë, Badass Levi Ackerman, Badass Mikasa Ackerman, Bisexual Armin Arlert, Bisexual Eren Yeager, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Depressed Eren Yeager, Eren Yeager Being an Idiot, Eren Yeager Has Anger Issues, Eren Yeager Has Issues, Eren Yeager Needs a Hug, Eren Yeager is a Little Shit, Eren yeager needs therapy, Everyone is Queer, Floch Forster Being an Asshole, Gen, I don't know how I will fit him but I will find a way, Kinda, Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager Are Siblings, Multi, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Protective Mikasa Ackerman, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Smart Armin Arlert, They all deserve better, Titan Eren Yeager, Titan Shifters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-28 00:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30131211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apple_cheesecake9/pseuds/Apple_cheesecake9
Summary: Eren Yeager knows three things: He knows he fucked up, he doesn't know how he got to this point and he knows that he's done this multiple times and it always ends the same way with him dying alone, killed by one of his friends. Eren just wants to stop the cycle from happening again and he might have an idea of how to do it... by warning his younger self of what's about to come.(HEAVY MANGA SPOILERS)
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Eren Yeager & 104th Training Corps, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Sasha Blouse & Connie Springer
Comments: 7
Kudos: 45





	1. Eren knows he fucked up and there's nothing he can do about it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm literally writing this to cope with Chapter 138 of the manga and with the anime ending because I just want to see everyone happy again. 
> 
> I don't have any idea of where this is going, the basic idea I have is that Eren "goes" back at certain moments of his life to give younger Eren an idea of what's about to come but he does it in a way that makes younger Eren question if he can trust him... that's basically the direction I want to go. 
> 
> (English is not my first language so if there are any errors please tell me!)

Eren is glad that he is alone in the carriage, so he can be alone with his thoughts and when he says alone, he means that he can cry freely of what just happened. Eren can't believe that he just did that, he just said to Mikasa that he hated her when in fact, he loved her, and he fought Armin; the guy he would always fight for, the guy he would protect until his dying breath and Eren would admit that Armin is right as always that he is a slave, Eren is a slave to a future he cannot change but it's the only way to save humanity, it's the only way he can ensure his friends will kill him without any regrets. Tears are falling freely down his face, trying to muffle his sobs so Floch won't hear him.

Eren sometimes wishes he didn't have the Attack Titan because it has brought him misery ever since he kissed Historia's hand, seeing all the different timelines where his friends died fighting against Marley; various timelines where he died alone, or he died at the hands of his friends (he already saw the future of this timeline he died at the hands of Mikasa.). According to him, there have already been eight timelines including this one, and he remembers all of them.

Timeline #1 was the one where they took the diplomatic route with Marley, they ended up getting destroyed by them and Eren was eaten by the Warhammer titan. 

Timeline #2 was the one where he got eaten by Historia and while he died before getting to the basement, he assumed they never had contact with Marley. 

Timeline #3 was the one where his dad was killed when he tried to take the Founding Titan. 

Timeline #4 was the one where he went to Marley after Reiner and Bertholt kidnapped him and got eaten by Zeke. 

Timeline #5 was the one where he was killed by the Military during the battle of Trost because they didn't trust him.

Timeline #6 was the best one for Eren in his opinion, it was similar to this one but with some key differences: Armin and he became a couple one year after they entered the Survey Corps, he told everyone in the military about his plans of infiltrating Marley but he got eaten by Reiner during the battle of Liberio. 

Timeline #7 was the one where Mikasa confessed her feelings and they left everything behind to live alone in the woods. 

Timeline #8 is the current one. 

Eren feels that this won't be the last timeline, he can just feel it but he can't do anything about now... it's too late for that. Great he did all that just so they could live free of this stupid cycle of hate they are living in but it won't matter because it's bound to repeat; that thought made Eren cry even more. Eren knows that he fucked up in a way and there's is no going back now, he can't go to apologize to Mikasa and Armin saying "Hey guys, I fucked up, can you forgive me?" after everything he just did. Eren decided that he's just going to go with his original plan of betraying Zeke, start the rumbling, wait for Mikasa to kill him, and restart the fucking cycle. His sobs got loud enough that he didn't manage to muffle them. Shit, Floch is going to hear him. 

"Are you okay, Eren?" He heard Floch ask. 

Eren tried three times to get words out without sounding like he was crying "Yeah, I'm fine," Eren responded trying to sound serious, Floch didn't respond. Thanks to Ymir. 

Taking a breath to calm down, Eren decided to think of different ways to stop the time-loop. Eren thought that he did everything right this time but something felt off to him and that was never a good thing. He wished he could just talk to someone about this situation however he was all alone this time, he had no one to support him besides the Yeagerists but they wouldn't understand what he's going through since they don't know him as well as Mikasa and Armin... hell, even Jean could help him.

Eren wished he could just go back to see what went wrong, well, he could do that but it would be too late to take everything back. He's stuck in this position with no way of getting out. The other version would sometimes send him snippets of the future, leaving him to puzzle all the pieces together until he kissed Historia's hand and all the flashes of the different timeline would come crashing down to him, and by that time Eren felt it was too late. Eren figured that there was something missing, an important piece of information should happen before he kisses Historia's hand, he just had to figure it out. 

Finally an idea came to Eren's mind, an idea to finally free. He has a plan on how to do it... by going back to warn his younger self. 


	2. Become a hunter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know? They are right" Eren said. 
> 
> "What? " Little Eren asked. 
> 
> "Your friends are right, you are weak."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes about this chapter: 
> 
> 1-. I will be referring younger Eren as little Eren unless the entire chapter is centered on him and older Eren isn't on the scene.   
> 2-. This chapter takes place in the second episode of the first season and most of the dialogue is taken from that episode. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and if you have any questions or recommendations don't be afraid to tell me :).

All Eren needed to do was decide to what place and time he wanted to go back; he knew that there are certain unchangeable events like killing Mikasa's kidnappers, the fall of Shingashina, the death of his father, and the battle of Trost but other events could be changed at least a little bit... Eren supposed that his best bet was talking to his younger self before certain things happen. He also started to send some flashes of the future to his younger self just like his predecessors but Eren hoped he could help his younger understand what is going to happen. The first memory he sent was stuff that happened during the fall of Shingashina and during the clash between the Survey Corps vs Reiner and Bertholt, just some images of Dina Fritz's titan form and blood on the flowers when Hannes died. 

Eren also needed to decide what things he wanted to avoid and what he wanted to happen: Thing number one on his list is saving all of his friends (that includes saving Sasha from Gabi and try to get Ymir to stay), thing number two is avoid fighting Mikasa and Armin, Eren felt that he needed them to succeed on ending the time loop (when he told Mikasa that he hated her that's when Eren started to feel that something was wrong), thing number three is to get stronger as fast as possible, he needed for his younger self to discover that he is a titan shifter before the Battle of Trost, and thing number four is try to drop hints about Marley, it could be either sneaking to his father's basement or try to get Reiner and Bertholt or even Annie to confess what Marley is... he would have to figure that out. He would think of more things as things progressed but those are the main points he wanted to focus on.

Eren felt that this was a solid plan and for the first time in years he allowed himself to have hope in the future... he knew that his timeline was fucked and he had to continue moving forward anyway but if this plan worked the cycle of hate will finally end. He stared out of the window and saw something he hasn't seen in a long time, a spark in his eyes. Smiling to himself, Eren stood up, walked towards the door to tell one of the guards to not bother him unless it was an emergency, and went to sit in a more comfortable place. 

"Let's get started then" Eren muttered to himself and closed his eyes. 

Eren decided to head to when he was 10 years old, a little bit after the fall of Shingashina and when Mikasa, Armin, and he were living in the refugee camp in Trost. He remembers very well living there during that time, he remembers the hatred he felt towards the titans... everything was simple back then when the only thing on his mind was to destroy the titans and they didn't know about Marley yet. 

The refugee camp was busier than he remembers. There are a lot of people he hasn't seen in years like Armin's grandfather... the last time Eren had seen him was before he left for the suicide mission the government declared to "reclaim" Shingashina (another thing to add to the list, destroy the fucking government sooner because they are assholes). Eren also saw some familiar faces getting in line to get food: Reiner, Bertholt, and Annie, he paid them no mind because there wasn't anything he could do right now but it kinda annoyed him that they were taking food when they were the ones who got them into this entire mess. 

Finding his younger self was easy, Eren just had to follow the sound of someone yelling. He found his ten-year-old self arguing against one of the members of the Garrison which he deserved it. After all, he was an asshole (from what Eren remembers), actually, most of the people living in Trost were assholes towards the people of Shingashina because they were "stealing" food from them. Eren remembers the disgust he felt towards the people of Trost whenever they looked at them with hatred, they reminded him of the looks he got in Marley just because he was Eldian.

Eren saw Armin put himself in between the Garrison soldier and little Eren, trying to calm things down while Mikasa helped little Eren stand up. They started walking towards the building to eat and Eren followed. Little Eren sat down in between the columns while Mikasa and Armin stared at him, Eren decided to give them some space choosing to be a little bit far but still close enough to hear them. 

"I'm going to kill all the titans" Little Eren established. 

"Eren, you aren't serious, are you?" Armin questioned. 

"I'm serious!" Little Eren yelled "I'm not like them, sitting inside the walls and acting tough!... I don't need this" Eren said as he started throwing his bread towards Armin.

Armin struggled to catch it "Eren, you'll starve!"

Little Eren took a few steps towards Armin "This doesn't bother you? We can't win until we stop depending on stuff from them,"

"It's impossible!" Armin retorted "We can't beat the titans anyway! There's nothing we can do but live within the walls... if you do something dumb, you'll die" 

"So we should suck up to them, then?" Little Eren questioned, "Aren't you ashamed?"

Armin stared at him "Right now, there's no choice!"

"That's just an excuse! Then spend the rest of your life as cattle, weakling!" Little Eren shouted fiercely. 

As soon as little Eren said those words, Eren was taken back to his fight between Armin and Mikasa " _ I couldn't stand to look at slaves who always followed orders without question-- Is this the freedom you wanted? The freedom to hurt Mikasa?... Tell me, You are a slave too and your master is a worthless bastard".  _ Eren realized that he has always been like this towards his Armin and Mikasa... they always stuck to his side and he repays them like this? He doesn't deserve them.

Eren continued watching the scene he realized that this time around it was Mikasa who protected Armin and the roles were reversed a few days ago where Armin protected Mikasa. Eren saw Mikasa punch his younger self, sending him to the ground. 

"Mikasa?" Armin asked quietly. Both turned to see little Eren with pity or sadness in their eyes.

"If Armin is weak, then so are we... We didn't run from the titans or from the city on our two feet," Mikasa established "We couldn't even get the food we're eating today without help"

Little Eren stared at her in disbelief as she continued "Anyone so weak couldn't possibly defeat a single titan... What matters right now is survival, just like your mother said" Mikasa started walking towards little Eren, grabbed the loaf of bread from Armin's hand, and shoved it in Eren's mouth. 

"Mikasa!" Armin blurted. 

"Eat and survive," Mikasa demanded "I will no let you starve"... Younger Eren started tearing up.

Mikasa and Armin sat down in front of him and started eating their bread. As soon as they finished Armin and Mikasa stood up. 

"... We should get going" Armin commented "Let's go". 

Mikasa eyed Eren who was still on the floor "Are you coming?" she asked. 

Eren shook his head "No, you guys go ahead, I'll catch up." 

Mikasa and Armin looked at each other and started walking away. 

Older Eren took this as a sign to finally talk to his younger self; He approached him carefully, trying not to scare him. His younger self was staring at the floor but as soon as Eren was in front of him, he looked up. Eren stared at his younger self, he stared at those green eyes full of light and determination. 

"You know? They are right" Eren said. 

"What? " Little Eren asked. 

"Your friends are right, you are weak."

Little Eren stood up violently "You- Who are you to tell me that?"

"You don't have to worry about that right now" Eren stated calmly "You are weak right now but you can change that"

Little Eren scoffed "What do you mean?"

"Right now you are cattle and it seems you are tired of being that so... you should change that"

"Yeah, and how should I do that?"

"Simple... you just have to become a hunter instead, how you do that it's your choice... you want to destroy all the titans right? Join the Survey Corps"

Little Eren rolled his eyes "I was planning to do that anyway, you don't have to tell me"

A little smile appeared on Eren's face "Good"

"Is that all?" Questioned Little Eren

"No, just two words of advice: Don't trust anyone except your friends and pay more attention to your injuries from now on"

"My injuries? What do you mean?"

"I'll be seeing you" Eren started to walk away. 

"Wait!" Little Eren exclaimed, "What's your name!?"

Eren stopped in his tracks and turned to see Eren "You can call me Kruger"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the end is a little bit bland but I had the entire conversation planned but I lost where I put it so I had to improvise, I promise next time it will be better. 
> 
> Also sorry if this is a little confusing? I honestly don't have any idea where this is going, I just have some snippets in my head and try to write them, I'm literally writing this as I go. 
> 
> Also ship stuff is going to be appearing when Eren is in the scouts or maybe a little bit later, the main ship of this story is Ereminka (Eren/Armin/Mikasa) because they should be happy together.

**Author's Note:**

> If someone wants to have short stories about the different timelines just tell me and I will post them because I think they are interesting and I have some of them drafted so, yeah, just tell me and I'll post them. 
> 
> Sorry if this chapter is kinda short but it's only the setup, the next chapters are going to be longer I swear. I'll try to post this story once every week. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Comments and Kudos are appreciated.


End file.
